I put on a brave face every day. But really any kind of change fucks me up.
I was texting my ex, pouring my heart out and begging him not to break up with me. A week after that I found out he had a new boyfriend and even now I still can’t stop thinking about him and its weird because apart of me is happy that he’s happy but at the same time I’m like why couldn’t I make him this happy? Why couldn’t I be the one who was good enough for him? Did I not give him enough so that he didn’t feel the need to talk to other guys whilst we were together? What did I do wrong for him to not want to be with me but to dump me for someone else? Why did he not see how much I cared and liked him for him to use me like that and then pog me off for someone else? No matter which way I look at it. I didn’t feel good enough for him and this is the proof that I wasn’t and never will be. But I can’t get him out my head and I feel so worthless and so lonely and so stupid for thinking we were both so happy when all it seems he wanted was to lose his virginity to someone he didnt care about? But why didnt he care about me? What was it that meant he couldn’t care he used me for sex? I just don’t understand why?